Time is really flying. It's already the 15th and my flight's a week from now. I already know I'm going to miss my time in Karachi a lot. Luckily life in London is very busy and any moments of feeling homesick pass soon enough. I will definitely miss having my breakfast ready n waiting for me every morning (or afternoon which is usually when I wake up), being taken out for lunch followed by a lavish dinner and dessert - there's ALWAYS room for dessert...which reminds me that I have to kill it at the gym asap! The fat ain't gonna burn itself.
While I love my independence and fought very hard for it, I must say I could sooooo get used to being waited on hand and foot.
Ok this blog isn't very insightful is it?! I'm not feeling inspired right now as got only four hours of sleep last night. Zzzz
Monday, November 15, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Close Encounters
They say life is often about being at the right place at the right time. Tonight, that's exactly what happened.
I was at CTC mall and less than 2 km away, a massive blast shook up the city - literally! All we heard inside the mall while searching for yet more material for festivities (it's permanently wedding season in Pakistan) was the sudden rattling of a shop's shutter. Shopkeepers, immune to the state of Karachi as of late, ignored it. Within seconds - yes, seconds! - hundreds of shoppers poured in from behind us and rushed towards the exits. I heard some random voices saying it was an explosion in the building across the street. Our driver said he heard the blast loud and clear and had started to run away from the car. My cousins and aunt are equally immune to the pathetic lawlessness of Karachi and decided to drive over to another area to continue shopping. The city thought faster and everything was dead except for speeding cars escaping the city to find refuge in their homes. We managed to collect some more fabric along the way from a darkened alley. The lights had been switched off and the alley - in reality a tiny mall - was deserted. Luckily the shopkeepers agreed to come outside on street level and hand over the goods. The city, which fifteen minutes ago was hustling bustling with activity, became still. Unfortunately, the only time the roads are peaceful to drive on and the drive a pleasant one without honks blasting in your ear is at times when fear pushes people off the streets and threatens them into silence.
At home, four windows and one door had been forced open because of the blast. As someone who has fortunately never been through war or any real hardship (excluding a cheating ex and making a life for myself in a strange country twice), I'm still in shock I suppose. I couldn't even get myself to listen to the news afterwards. Too disturbing. Too real.
Lights out. The city's asleep.
I was at CTC mall and less than 2 km away, a massive blast shook up the city - literally! All we heard inside the mall while searching for yet more material for festivities (it's permanently wedding season in Pakistan) was the sudden rattling of a shop's shutter. Shopkeepers, immune to the state of Karachi as of late, ignored it. Within seconds - yes, seconds! - hundreds of shoppers poured in from behind us and rushed towards the exits. I heard some random voices saying it was an explosion in the building across the street. Our driver said he heard the blast loud and clear and had started to run away from the car. My cousins and aunt are equally immune to the pathetic lawlessness of Karachi and decided to drive over to another area to continue shopping. The city thought faster and everything was dead except for speeding cars escaping the city to find refuge in their homes. We managed to collect some more fabric along the way from a darkened alley. The lights had been switched off and the alley - in reality a tiny mall - was deserted. Luckily the shopkeepers agreed to come outside on street level and hand over the goods. The city, which fifteen minutes ago was hustling bustling with activity, became still. Unfortunately, the only time the roads are peaceful to drive on and the drive a pleasant one without honks blasting in your ear is at times when fear pushes people off the streets and threatens them into silence.
At home, four windows and one door had been forced open because of the blast. As someone who has fortunately never been through war or any real hardship (excluding a cheating ex and making a life for myself in a strange country twice), I'm still in shock I suppose. I couldn't even get myself to listen to the news afterwards. Too disturbing. Too real.
Lights out. The city's asleep.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
The Games Married Folks And Singletons Play
We live in a universe where societal norms and values dominate our lives and shape perceptions. Our self worth gets measured like weights on an antique scale. Finding the right balance becomes difficult for some and impossible for most. Hypocrisy and double standards cloud sound judgment and temptation ruins man and woman entirely.
So often it is brought to my attention that married men are the worst. They cheat on their wives at the first chance they stumble upon. It could be the maid. It could be the nanny - a common prey for celebrities. It could be the wife's best friend. It could be a colleague. What I find extremely disturbing is that these incidents are no longer limited to married men. As with careers, politics, education and sports, married women have outrun married men. The single man has now become "prey" - in theory. He is charming. He is exciting. He is available. The only difference in the rules of the game is that the single man is not prey. He is willingly participating knowing the facts. He is oblivious to the sanctity of marriage. He wants instant gratification. He wants a married woman's touch. He wants her validation. He is in total and complete denial of his position in this dirty game. He is after all a man responding to a woman's open arms. Her husband is the real prey. He is a shadow in the background. He is trusting. He is a man of dignity, blissfully unaware of the married woman and the dirty games she plays.
Pakistan Zindabad
"You act like a Pakistani over there rather than a Western gal".
Yes, it's true. I'm a proper Pakistani girl here. I say "ji" all the time even when I don't mean it. I don't talk to boys. Hell I don't even make eye contact with them. I walk with my head down often though I might just be the only remaining Pakistani girl doing this. I wear shalwar kurta all the time. My dupatta covers my chest - always! I make an effort to say inshallah and mashallah at least once during each conversation. I politely ask about everyone's aunties, uncles, cousins, grandchildren, neighbours and pets. I offer to get the bill - though this is something I do out of Pakistan too. It's just more exaggerated and might I add expected here.
And so another day has almost passed. I managed to make some family visits and spent half a day at a beauty parlour (yep, it's called beauty parlour here). It's a hard life eh?!
Electricity just came back - time for dinner! Woop woop!
Yes, it's true. I'm a proper Pakistani girl here. I say "ji" all the time even when I don't mean it. I don't talk to boys. Hell I don't even make eye contact with them. I walk with my head down often though I might just be the only remaining Pakistani girl doing this. I wear shalwar kurta all the time. My dupatta covers my chest - always! I make an effort to say inshallah and mashallah at least once during each conversation. I politely ask about everyone's aunties, uncles, cousins, grandchildren, neighbours and pets. I offer to get the bill - though this is something I do out of Pakistan too. It's just more exaggerated and might I add expected here.
And so another day has almost passed. I managed to make some family visits and spent half a day at a beauty parlour (yep, it's called beauty parlour here). It's a hard life eh?!
Electricity just came back - time for dinner! Woop woop!
Monday, November 8, 2010
Fateh Ali Khan lives on
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan may have left us years ago but his nephew, Rahat Fateh Ali Khan has filled his shoes brilliantly. Just got back from his concert. I'm choosing to forget the fact that it started two and a half hours too late because the vocal genius made up for it within seconds. Someone told me that his voice echoes in your ears for a week after hearing him live. I will report back a week from now but tonight, I will close my eyes and hear magic!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
5 days and counting
Five days have already passed since I landed at Jinnah International Airport in Karachi. I feel very much at home though equally out of place. I'm fairly certain that had I not spent the first twelve years of my life here, I wouldn't know what to make of myself and my environment.
In the midst of preparations for a family wedding, I find myself noticing what the value of marriage is in Pakistani society. The sheer amount of money that is spent on clothes a girl will most probably only wear once, jewelery requiring life savings (which by the way is considered an investment though I wonder how it's an investment when no one will willingly trade in their family jewels for cash unless it's a life or death situation), and finally - dowry, makes the mind boggle. I'm confident that if and when I get married, the only extras I'm taking to my in-laws are myself, my sense of humor and my no-nonsense attitude. Of course this worries me about the fact that any matrimonial prospects may have a big "if" attached to them as I don't fit the "traditional-good-Muslim-girl-who-doesn't-ask-questions" image. On the plus side, it's a time of joy and celebration. There's always something to talk about - the venues, the tailoring, the dyers, the material, the shoes, the food, the guest list - who made the cut and who didn't. This is how it goes: whoever hasn't asked about you over the years but still demands the rights of family are to be strictly and deliberately excluded. They are not to be told of the wedding. If they find out from a third party and feel the sting of this exclusion and "disrespect", even better! Second, the makeup artist is crucial! THERE IS NO WEDDING without a makeup artist who's famous in the city and charges unimaginable amounts of money. After all, how can a bride keep face when mentioning an unknown makeup artist and designer if a guest asks her - which they will and then they'll compare notes.
What I AM loving and wish there was more of in the West is hospitality and generosity. This isn't to say that generosity is second nature to all Pakistanis, but it's certainly an intrinsic part of most locals' upbringing. People insist on paying the bill in Pakistan. Abroad, you argue over who owes one cent less.
I can honestly say that I'm not missing London or Holland too much which means I'm having a good time here and being entertained well. The only time I want to teleport myself is on a Friday or Saturday night when I KNOW I'd be up to slightly more than watching old Bollywood films on TV and lying awake in bed, restless, till 5am;)
In the midst of preparations for a family wedding, I find myself noticing what the value of marriage is in Pakistani society. The sheer amount of money that is spent on clothes a girl will most probably only wear once, jewelery requiring life savings (which by the way is considered an investment though I wonder how it's an investment when no one will willingly trade in their family jewels for cash unless it's a life or death situation), and finally - dowry, makes the mind boggle. I'm confident that if and when I get married, the only extras I'm taking to my in-laws are myself, my sense of humor and my no-nonsense attitude. Of course this worries me about the fact that any matrimonial prospects may have a big "if" attached to them as I don't fit the "traditional-good-Muslim-girl-who-doesn't-ask-questions" image. On the plus side, it's a time of joy and celebration. There's always something to talk about - the venues, the tailoring, the dyers, the material, the shoes, the food, the guest list - who made the cut and who didn't. This is how it goes: whoever hasn't asked about you over the years but still demands the rights of family are to be strictly and deliberately excluded. They are not to be told of the wedding. If they find out from a third party and feel the sting of this exclusion and "disrespect", even better! Second, the makeup artist is crucial! THERE IS NO WEDDING without a makeup artist who's famous in the city and charges unimaginable amounts of money. After all, how can a bride keep face when mentioning an unknown makeup artist and designer if a guest asks her - which they will and then they'll compare notes.
What I AM loving and wish there was more of in the West is hospitality and generosity. This isn't to say that generosity is second nature to all Pakistanis, but it's certainly an intrinsic part of most locals' upbringing. People insist on paying the bill in Pakistan. Abroad, you argue over who owes one cent less.
I can honestly say that I'm not missing London or Holland too much which means I'm having a good time here and being entertained well. The only time I want to teleport myself is on a Friday or Saturday night when I KNOW I'd be up to slightly more than watching old Bollywood films on TV and lying awake in bed, restless, till 5am;)
Friday, November 5, 2010
Return to Motherland
It's been two years since I last visited Karachi, Pakistan - the city of my childhood. A lot is unchanged, from the poorly constructed roads and smartly dressed transvestites or "hijras" to the West-inspired malls and vividly apparent divide in classes. Conversation revolves around food, beauty salons and politics. As someone who considers herself as much a Pakistani as one who's never left the country, I am factually an outsider and view my people and country from a distance. I feel this allows me to understand the nuances and body language that the locals are oblivious to.
What I want to see and hear more of is ambition, stories of travel, voices of independent women fighting the norm and less judgment. Judgment is sadly second nature to Pakistanis and while I have a natural instinct to be judgmental of others at times I consciously force myself to fight the urge. Daily common judgmental comments include words like "dark", "fat" and "cheap". I personally feel that if someone wants to be a black chunky slut that's completely her choice and poo on anyone who judges her. The only time I would judge this black chunky slut is if she had nasty intentions, in which case I would prefer to smack her than to judge her.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Lessons 2010
After last year's appreciation for "Naveen's lessons learned in 2009" on Facebook, I have decided to share my lessons every year - the painful, the embarassing, the mundane, the wise and the frustrating!
1. Always, always read every single word of a contract. This is one boring activity you don't want to rush.
2. Stop planning every moment of your life. Let life happen and allow things to flow naturally.
3. When things don't move, move yourself. I struggled to find a stable job for a whole year before packing my bags and moving to London. A month later I had a job!
4. Trust no one. This is especially crucial in the workplace. There's always someone afraid you're after their job and will do their best to sabotage your reputation and credibility. Keep moving forward and work hard. Hard work speaks for itself.
5. Connections are everything, but sometimes they're not enough. This highlights my previous point. You may have the connections but they won't sustain you. YOU will sustain you.
6. Boys will be boys. It doesn't matter if they're your friend's brother. It doesn't matter if they've been a trusted friend for years. Don't let history and associations fool you. Boys will be boys, and boys will always think with their d****.
7. Safeguard yourself. Surround yourself with positive, fun people. Be financially independent. Dress warmly. Take your vitamins.
8. Family bonds must be strong. Nothing else matters for very long when they're not.
9. Parents get old. You suddenly find yourself in a situation where even your parents can't help you and you instantly become an adult. Finally!
10. Every now and then, friendships can be platonic. Who'd have thought?!
1. Always, always read every single word of a contract. This is one boring activity you don't want to rush.
2. Stop planning every moment of your life. Let life happen and allow things to flow naturally.
3. When things don't move, move yourself. I struggled to find a stable job for a whole year before packing my bags and moving to London. A month later I had a job!
4. Trust no one. This is especially crucial in the workplace. There's always someone afraid you're after their job and will do their best to sabotage your reputation and credibility. Keep moving forward and work hard. Hard work speaks for itself.
5. Connections are everything, but sometimes they're not enough. This highlights my previous point. You may have the connections but they won't sustain you. YOU will sustain you.
6. Boys will be boys. It doesn't matter if they're your friend's brother. It doesn't matter if they've been a trusted friend for years. Don't let history and associations fool you. Boys will be boys, and boys will always think with their d****.
7. Safeguard yourself. Surround yourself with positive, fun people. Be financially independent. Dress warmly. Take your vitamins.
8. Family bonds must be strong. Nothing else matters for very long when they're not.
9. Parents get old. You suddenly find yourself in a situation where even your parents can't help you and you instantly become an adult. Finally!
10. Every now and then, friendships can be platonic. Who'd have thought?!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
AAMIR KHAN
Oh today was exciting! I shared an auditorium with legendary Indian actor, Aamir Khan. He impressed me as much in person as he did with his movies. His well thought out words, stress on the word "feel" and humble presence really spoke to me. When BBC Asian Network hosts Raj and Pablo introduced him, he emerged before the audience like a shy boy, smiling coyly. I do heart him! Times like these make me feel very grateful to be part of a magazine giant in London. In the past six months I have had the luxury of meeting or sharing space with celebrities like Raj & Pablo, Tommy Sandhu, Gok Wan, Anjum Anand, Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh, Cheryl Cole and now, Aamir Khan. I feel I'm finally getting close to my idol, SRK!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Migraines, Ramadan and Mr. Khan
Work life has finally caught up with me. I have headaches day after day. I'm told it's due to stress. I beg to differ.
I also have a confession - Ramadan is almost over and I have not kept a single fast. This may be the first time since I turned 12 when I have totally and completely neglected my Muslim duties. I can't help but feel a pang of guilt every day but it still doesn't stop me from reaching for that bag of crisps yelling out my name.
Meanwhile, my housemates are losing it. One has developed an opera version to my "koochi koo" and the other finds it totally reasonable to dish out ridiculous amount of dosh on rent just to avoid a bit of travelling which by the way EVERY Londoner does as part of their "I'm a true Londoner" spiel.
On a more exciting note, next week I shall be meeting (or rather I've been promised this) Oscar nominated star, the one and only, Aamir Khan. He's no Shahrukh Khan but certainly next in line for me. I've often day dreamt about him as he serenaded gorgeous Indian beauties before my envious eyes.
Time for bed!
I also have a confession - Ramadan is almost over and I have not kept a single fast. This may be the first time since I turned 12 when I have totally and completely neglected my Muslim duties. I can't help but feel a pang of guilt every day but it still doesn't stop me from reaching for that bag of crisps yelling out my name.
Meanwhile, my housemates are losing it. One has developed an opera version to my "koochi koo" and the other finds it totally reasonable to dish out ridiculous amount of dosh on rent just to avoid a bit of travelling which by the way EVERY Londoner does as part of their "I'm a true Londoner" spiel.
On a more exciting note, next week I shall be meeting (or rather I've been promised this) Oscar nominated star, the one and only, Aamir Khan. He's no Shahrukh Khan but certainly next in line for me. I've often day dreamt about him as he serenaded gorgeous Indian beauties before my envious eyes.
Time for bed!
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