Facebook Myths

Here it is people - your quick guide to avoid being caught up in Facebook insanity.

1. Facebook Purging

When people announce that they're deleting friends from their Facebook, you panic slightly. You secretly hope you've made the cut. And then you decide to do the same. Who needs 400 friends they haven't seen or spoken to in five years?! Point is: Chill. If someone deletes you, you wouldn't have even noticed if they hadn't announced it.

2. Number of Friends

The greater the number, the fewer the "real" friends you really have. No one has 1200 close friends. Chances are you went to a party, got spotted (or perved on someone), received a friend invite (or desperately added them in the hope of seeing them again) and tada! You're popular!

3. Facebook Flirtation

This is something you all need to keep in mind the next time you go ballistic seeing your boyfriend/girlfriend publicly commenting sweet nothings on someone's picture or status. If it's public, it's innocent. More often than not there is NOTHING to it. It's the off-Facebook shit you need to worry about because there's no way anyone's stupid enough to leave traces of that (except for the odd dumb idiot). Also more often than not, Facebook flirtation is intentional to get a reaction out of you.

4. Number of Albums = Social Life Calculator

Once again, if your social life were really that active, you wouldn't have time to upload the gazillion pictures that you dressed up for and posed your way through for pure self-indulgence.

5. Facebook is Addictive.

It ain't. You have an addictive personality!

Change

This phase of my life is all about CHANGE.

Started a new job. Loving the honeymoon phase. My brain feels alive again, taking on new challenges, meeting new faces and learning new names.

Within three weeks I'll have moved into another flat as well. Look forward to moving in with my ex-flatmate - a great cook with an explosive wit to match.

On a darker note, I have lost 4 family members in the last six months. An entire generation seems to have been wiped out due to illness and old age. Very sad and a harsh reminder of the rules of life.

Another close friend left the country without saying bye. Well, he tried but we were too busy being stubborn and having a tiff to have a decent goodbye. We have now made up thanks to Facebook.

Going forward, I'm excited about new possibilities, meeting good people and perhaps even returning to the world of gyms and fitness!

Catch 22

I have been meaning to make a serious point of something ever since I decided to leave behind a career in Sales (one that I fell into but mastered) and move onto something more challenging and creative. Something the writer in me has been craving.

UNPAID JOBS.

When did it become perfectly acceptable to exploit talent, hard work and enthusiasm? The label child labour ferociously comes to mind when I think of millions of job seekers in the market being reduced to taking on belittling roles lacking respect, fairness and downright human decency.

For example, certain professions such as Public Relations REFUSE to pay a penny to anyone making a career change, irrespective of hard earned skills being brought to the table, irrespective of academic qualifications that qualify them in the highly educated tier of their generation, and certainly irrespective of the fact that employers KNOW the candidate can turn around their business. I have no doubt that every successful person can spot a winner a mile away.

There need to be some drastic changes in the mindset of employers. If candidates are not students, they should not qualify as interns working in unpaid jobs. Roles must be created for them if there is clear potential. The same goes for pay rises. Companies are NOT benefitting from losing highly qualified employees to their competitors. The job market is NOT benefitting from unemployment being on the rise as a result of job hopping and dry transitional periods. Candidates are not pursuing their passion and settling for jobs that pay the bills but don't feed their minds or hearts. What’s even worse is that professionals are devaluing education. Having a Masters degree is almost worthless nowadays. A Bachelors degree will often suffice. Many jobs don’t even require this. This makes me very, very sad and extremely annoyed. The determined, opinionated Scorpio in me is NOT impressed.

While I am rational enough to understand the whole barter system of securing a spot in a company for free while learning and absorbing like a sponge (a poor sponge might I add), the ease and disregard for candidates bothers me. I see interns every day carrying things twice their size, doing tedious and repetitive tasks, running errands like their life depends on it while smiling the whole time in the desperate hope of being noticed and appreciated. I was this intern once and refuse to be it again. I also make it a point to treat every intern with respect, kindness and encouragement, for this will shape their attitude towards the next employer and influence their treatment of interns in the future.

But, what it boils down it is that the market is tough, and may always be. Sometimes you have to start at the bottom and work your way up and other times, you might just have to do that a second time. OR you can sell your soul to the next employer who talks money and promises to offer you your worth.

Sound of Silence

Today has been a very quiet day. Quiet not in terms of nothing happening, but because I have been working in my room peacefully while listening to the soft purr of the pedestal fan. It really is my saviour in this humid weather.

After waking up to an alarm days on end, I strategically put my phone on silent last night, only to wake up at 2:30 this afternoon. This too was because I heard my flatmate speaking at the top of his lungs on Skype – in French! On days like this I conveniently conclude that my body “needed” the rest rather than feeling guilty about being a waste of space.

I also choose to see this wonderful silence as an opportunity to ponder over my life, friends and family. I wonder what everyone is doing today. I wonder if they are happy. I wonder if anyone has time to indulge in these thoughts nowadays unless they’re forced to. London doesn’t leave much time to reminisce.

I am also excited about taking on new challenges and leaving old ones behind. A close friend of mine always says that we should never hang around a job if we start to feel “stale”. I’m a sponge. I love the feeling of a fresh sponge taking in new information, conversations and surroundings.

Euro Tour

It's been an awesome two weeks.

My best friend and I took our much awaited break in sunny Barcelona, the city of Gaudi.


Since we both were shattered from an early morning and hectic months prior to that, we decided to take it easy and familiarize ourselves with Espanya. The hotel, seemingly luxurious online with a rooftop pool, was more of a two-star, uncarpetted work-in-progress building. Oh and the rooftop pool was more giant bathtub than pool. At least we had a friendly receptionist, Derrick. (Profile: 6' alpha male; half German half Spanish; smoker; remembered our room number leading to many a controlled giggles on our part).

Sorry, got distracted. Moving on...

In a nutshell, we covered everything that can be covered in Barcelona - the Ramblas, Park Guelle, Casa Batllo, Sagrada Famillia, Barceloneta), the 26th floor of the grand W Hotel, Olympic Port, Catwalk Club, paella etc etc. Good times!


The main obsersvations I made about the Spanish were that tourists are not very well received. I could see suspicion in the eyes of practically every local I spoke to. Perhaps the recession has taken its toll on them and freely spending tourists piss the hell out of them. The language barrier was another one. I thought the French were bad. Although, I'm convinced the French CAN speak Engish but choose not to. Kind of like me and Dutch.

On a more positive note, the transport system is amazing. Barcelona's metros put London's tubes to shame. They always work, are airconditioned, clean and ON TIME.

Public displays of affection are quite intense. There is no discretion. I'm not sure if I was uncomfortable, intrigued, or plain turned on.

After Spain came Holland. Ah, the land of cheese, tall gorgeous men and vibrant (more commonly described as "dodgy") Amsterdam. Friends, family and good food. All in all, I have nothing to complain about.

Time to get back in the grind in London. Sigh!

Revisting Memories

I advice everyone to revisit memories - the good ones - if they get a chance. This weekend I gathered a group of friends for a roadtrip to Lulworth. I last visited Durdle Door when I was a student at Bournemouth University. This was in 2007. Yesterday, I went and took pictures at the exact same spots where I was snapped almost four years ago. Not quite a lifetime away, but it's definately been a while.


This was my third visit there, but so much has happened since. I earned myself two Masters, moved from Bournemouth to my parents in Rotterdam, reclaimed my independence and moved to Amsterdam, worked, got laid off, moved back in with my parents, looked for the perfect job for a year while keeping myself motivated and busy with part-time jobs and freelance writing, eventually got fed up and took off to London. Over a year later, yesterday, this roadtrip took place.

I felt overcome with so much emotion. The day was so much fun and filled with many thoughts and realisations. When you're so busy with work, routine, events, and life, sometimes there's absolutely no time to take it all in. Durdle Door is the best place to do just that. I fondly remembered that four years ago I was in a loving relationship, though naive and new to love. Now for the first time I'm single and really enjoying it. I am at peace with myself and my choices. This my lovelies is an amazing feeling! What's even better is knowing that some things never change and evolve, but you do every day!

2011 Today

It's already February. 2010 was definately the fastest year of my life. So much happened. I experienced relocation, new friendships, new job, losing a beloved family member, a rejuvenated love for my country and people - the list is endless. 2011 began with a bang with work consuming every moment and eating into my weekends. This weekend I'm feeling like I can finally breathe again and I'm definately rearing to go. Missing family but nothing's changed there.

Some friends have been disappointing and keeping true to myself after giving them LOTS of chances, I'm starting to give up on them. It's part of life I suppose. "Every friend is a phase of your life", someone told me once. It always stayed with me.

2010 lessons continued..

2010 lesson number 1: Stop planning & allow life to take you on an adventure

‎2010 lesson number 2: Fabulousness shines through 15 kilos of weight gain so quit stressing

2010 lesson number 3: Someone told me years ago that to be truly happy I need to "learn to be OK with [your]self and enjoy [your] own company". I am and I do. Halleluja!

2010 lesson number 4: Don't share too much. There's always someone who will take advantage of your openess

‎2010 lesson number 5: History means a lot in friendships but sometimes it's just not enough

Out of Sorts

I'm feeling out of sorts lately. I don't feel motivated to go to work every morning. I don't feel energetic during the day. I'm not up for seeing anyone. I've been told I'm tired since my trip to Pakistan. I feel a change within as well. People are annoying me too quickly. I just can't be bothered. I'm not myself. Although, what is myself?! Time for some soul searching.

Random Thoughts

Thoughts on WINTER

Winter brings out all kinds of feelings in people. Happy ones. Excited ones. Sensitive ones. Sad ones. Maybe the purity of the snow highlights the darkness of our minds or the vibrance of our mood. I think it's the season most people yearn for a partner (or so I've been told) to stay warm on those shivering winter nights. It's also the season that puts most pressure on family bonding and everyone rushes home. Winter also forces out the urge to spend. Shop until you drop then pick yourself up and shop some more.

Thoughts on FRIENDSHIP

I love the way children love. No adult loves like a child because no adult loves unconditionally. Well some do, but I've met very few in my 27 years. One, in fact. Men in particular always care with a motive. Parents, especially in Asian families, love with conditions. Your happiness is theirs as long as you're following what they dictate. Friends too pretend to care unconditionally but quietly their concern goes as far as you meeting their expectations. We live in a world of opportunists. I keep forgetting this very important fact. It's disappointing and very discouraging.

Thoughts on FATE

There are two main viewpoints on fate. Some believe in it. Others don't. It's that simple. I for one believe entirely in fate and over the years life has proven to me that planning is completely and absolutely pointless. One must give one's best and leave the rest up to fate. No one's smart enough to fight it, though you should still try to prove to yourself that you did your best. There's a little fighter in everyone anyway.

Thoughts on REGRET

It's always advisable not to regret anything in life. It's one of those things that are easier preached than practiced though. I feel nothing but regret over missing my gorgeous cousin's wedding. Word of advice to all: Never ever put work before family.